


Twelve Random Facts About the Angel Aziraphale

by chestertonwhoknows



Series: Twelve Random Facts [2]
Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 13:05:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19335091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chestertonwhoknows/pseuds/chestertonwhoknows
Summary: Originally posted to the lower_tadfield LJ community in 2008.





	Twelve Random Facts About the Angel Aziraphale

**Twelve Random Facts About the Angel Aziraphale**

1\. Yes, as a matter of fact, he likes women just _fine_. 

2\. Aziraphale is an unrepentant omnivore: of his past half dozen incorporations—not counting the one that was misplaced during Armageddon or the one cremated in Alexandria—one was attacked by a bear, one was thrown to the lions, one was eaten by a pack of hungry wolves, two were eaten by Crowley, and one drowned after being pushed off the Ark by a cow.

3\. He never bothers with the begats, either.

4\. Not laughing at “Anthony James” is going to earn him a commendation any day now.

5\. The first time he falls in love, five thousand and eight hundred years away from home, he is sitting in a crowded opera house in Vienna with his eyes closed, trying to understand how something so beautiful could be wrong. When he looks up, he sees a silk handkerchief and a face more familiar than it should be, and he thinks perhaps this is not the first time after all.

6\. Louis XIII would pale at the amount of snuff it took him to get through Joyce's _Ulysses_.

7\. Office Supplies is mystified at the constant influx of Robert Redford photographs.

8\. Secretly, he thinks that sex with Crowley is rather like going to the opera: it's an acquired taste, always with an awareness of performance; one must have a sense of humour about it even while taking it seriously. You certainly wouldn't want to do it every week. But when it's done right--when you're completely absorbed in what's happening, and the music swells and the voices soar--you know you're being told something important even if you can't make out the words, and the crescendo is all too likely to bring tears to one's eyes.

9\. While he certainly would not _kill_ for chocolate torte, with proper persuasion he might be convinced to show some lenience where the fourth and eighth commandments are concerned, and of course the fifth hardly applies to him at all, when you think about it.

10\. Contrary to popular belief, it is he who deserves the blame for that infinitesimal non-hole in the ozone layer—although, in his defence, he’d had rather more than his fair share of wine that time, and Crowley really ought to have stopped him trying to succeed where Icarus failed.

11\. On Sundays, he likes to watch the _Antiques Roadshow_ and gloat.

12\. Sometimes when he looks at Crowley, he thinks he might understand what Eve must have seen in those eyes on their last day in the Garden—but that’s neither here nor there.


End file.
